My Crochet Spot

Anger Management

This was emailed to me and I had to share. I laughed so hard.


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, "Get the right f**ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word "asshole" next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole" calling" would have to stop.So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith fromVerizon.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're anasshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial). I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?""Yes, it is", he said.
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked."
Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked."My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?""I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?""Yes?""Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called Asshole #1."Hello.""You're an asshole!" (But I did't hang up.)"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said."Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...""You'll what?" I said."I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and ime diately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse. I
quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works...

posted by Brandee Fondren @ 12:30 PM